Hi. I’m Rachael,
I help women reclaim their spark, so they can live a life they love.
I help women ditch the overwhelm and become who they want to be.
I listen a lot, ask hard questions, dig around in scary stuff, propose solutions, and lead you gently and kindly through the process of self-discovery.
You will change the way you think, lose some bad habits, gain some empowering behaviours and start enjoying life more.
Hi my name is Rachael, I am a life coach, a best friend, a wife and busy mum to two kids.
I am a good life coach. NOT because I have my life sorted. Not because the path I have taken through life has been seamless and simple. Not because I have achieved dazzling goals. But because I have learned a lot, because I have lived my own crises and down patches, and have worked my way through them, to be deeply contented in my life.
I have done a lot of coaching-by-accident. I have had women referred to me with ‘You need to talk to Rachael’. These strangers would ring me, and we would chat for a while and I would try to help them through what was on their mind. Looking back, I did a pretty poor job of it, I was relying purely on instinct and muddled my way through trying to make people feel better.
So then I went and studied to be a coach under the brilliant Martha Beck and learned the formal techniques to compliment my instincts.
Coaching With Me
What is life coaching?
Coaching is a process that creates mental space. Space to take stock, to gain perspective, to ask questions, to answer them, and to rethink how you are living your life.
Often your life doesn’t need radical change. Sometimes it just needs a fresh perspective, a gentle nudge in the right direction, a subtle rethinking of sticky issues, and off you go – fresh and ready to take on the world. On other occasions it needs a fundamental shift in how you think about things, in your behaviour, and your approach to life.
Life is a series of phases, and every so often our perspective needs a shake-up. Just because we have always done something one way, doesn’t mean that is the best way to do it now.
Coaching helps you update your toolbox of life skills as you move through different phases of life.
Who needs coaching? I am doing fine…
‘I’m fine’ is usually a red flag that sends my antennae up and sparks great interest.
It is the refrain of harried parents everywhere. And it’s true, you are doing fine. You have a job, you are well-ish, the family seems OK and everything is ticking along. But why are things not good? Or great? What is missing? Why are you OK with letting this wonderful, precious gift of life pass by ‘just fine’?
Why not make life great? When you get down to it, living well is simply about better knowledge, some life skills and good behaviour patterns. And we can all learn better skills. Making positive, constructive change, you can feel more satisfied, and less stuck in a rut of routine and mundane clutter.
What happens in a coaching session?
The coaching process is fluid, and changes for each client. Typically, however, we will talk together for around an hour. I will ask questions that provoke deep thought. We will identify problems, or limiting beliefs, and work through them to a resolution.
A coaching session can be part of a structured multi-session programme that is working towards a defined goal (for example managing unwanted change that has been forced upon you). Or it can be a one-off, seeking clarity on one specific issue.
What sort of people do you coach?
What is the difference between coaching and therapy?
Therapy is a past-focused discipline, in which the therapists identify the reasons why the client is feeling and behaving the way they are
In life coaching, we do not dwell on the reasons why we are as we are. Instead, we focus on the future and what comes next.
Coaching works with healthy clients who want to do better. It is akin to a personal trainer, but for your mind. You are not unwell, there is nothing major that is wrong, but you are not in great shape either. A coach will work with you to enhance the quality of your life.
What outcomes can I expect from coaching?
Outcomes depend on what topics we focus on. Depending on your commitment, you could expect some of the following outcomes:
You could get more done. Or less, if that’s what is needed.
You could have a greater self-awareness, and feel more confident and comfortable in who you are.
You could have clarity around your goals, your purpose, your priorities, your boundaries.
You could learn what is holding you back, and ways to move past your limiting beliefs.
Things may change for you: your mindset, your language, the choices you make, your habits, routines or behaviours.
You could feel like you are moving towards something (an exciting goal), rather than just treading water.
You could tap into your instincts, and reduce your dependence on other people’s advice and opinions.
As you change your perspective you may move toward better self-trust and compassion. As your self-reliance improves, your relationships tend to improve too.
You would spend less time in your head, and more time doing meaningful things that fill you up.
You would take care of yourself better, and stop waiting for someone else to do so.
And yes, sometimes you might end up with to-do lists and detailed action plans after our sessions. But most of our work would be around changing your mindset so that your days naturally fill with activities that move you forward toward something better and more fulfilling.
But can’t I work that out for myself? Or ask my friends?
A coach brings new eyes and ears to your situation and provides a safe non-judgemental space for you. Your coach has no agenda. Everyone in your peer group, your spouse, employer, friends and family have an agenda for you (often well-intentioned) but they always look at your life through their own filter, and how you affect them.
And it is so hard to work on yourself. Things are that blindingly obvious to a coach about you, may be hard for you to accept, let alone see for yourself. That’s why all good coaches, myself included, talk to a coach regularly.
Is there anything you don’t coach about?
How long does it take?
Introductory sessions are usually 90 minutes.
Then you would follow through with 60-minute sessions, ideally spaced around 2 weeks apart. Many clients then settle into a ‘check-in’ pattern with regular follow-ups (some around once a month, or every few months).
Some clients want to move quickly, focus deeply and bring about rapid change. Others want to think things through and take more measured gradual changes. Both work- it’s up to what suits your personality. So it can last anywhere from 3 months to an ongoing relationship.
The coaching relationship can continue as long as it’s bringing benefit to you. My goal is to teach you techniques where you can help yourself and to do myself out of a job.
Where do you coach?
Many clients like face to face coaching, so we meet in Mission Bay, Auckland.
Coaching by Skype or phone is also extremely effective (and saves considerable commute time). Many clients move to phone coaching after a few face to face sessions. Once you know how the process works, it is easy to work remotely.
Clients outside Auckland can start with phone sessions.
Is it confidential?
Many women don’t like to rock the boat. They don’t like to say anything that may cause offence, or that may be misconstrued. It is a common trap for People Pleasers. Worried about saying it wrong, they get trapped in an endless cycle of rephrasing, anxious how it will be taken. So they end up not saying anything. Avoiding it. And that’s a huge shame.
Some people are more assertive. They confidently put their thoughts out there, and they say exactly what they mean. Sometimes they combine their assertiveness with rudeness. And you don’t want to be
What is the hardest thing to clear out? A busy mind.
There can be so many things in your head. Juggling multiple family members timetables, needs and routines. Adding your own in. Keeping on track at work. Meal planning. Household management. Remembering to floss, to be a nice person, to go to the dentist.
Then there is another sinister layer of complication, the unhelpful thoughts. The words that appear in your mind, without bidding, that don’t feel good. And the heavy emotions that come with them and drag you down.
- You will resolv
The Joy of decluttering
Decluttering is fashionable right now. Charity shops are experiencing a surge in donations, as the clearing-out trend takes off. The new Marie Kondo series on Netflix has taken the message mainstream. More of us feel inspired us to reorganise our drawers, give away our cookbooks, and streamline our wardrobes.
I have always got a huge amount of satisfaction from clearing things out. This is one trend I was way ahead of. Clutter stresses me. Things out of place make me feel agitated. Cupboards that are too full